I cannot believe that is has been almost 7 years ago since I was blindsided with the news that changed our family still to this day.
I remember the day as clear as water. I was sitting in my apartment about to study for my exam when I got a call from my now sister-in-law. I answered the phone because I was glad to hear from her and I could tell the second she opened her mouth that something was wrong. She cried the words "She's gone!"...a world wind of thoughts went through my head. "WHO, who is gone," I asked. "Mom, mom she gone," she replied. Me thinking the worst, "What do you mean she is gone." I almost lost my mother once before and it was too early in my life for her to be gone. Kim replied with, "she left, she moved out!" "What! What do you mean she moved out?" She explained to me that my mom had hired a moving company to come and move all of her belongings out of my parents house. She replaced the pictures that she took off the wall with other pictures that were laying around the house, the couch with the couch that was in our game room, so she didn't leave the house a total disaster. She did all of this the opening weekend of deer season when she knew my dad would be out of town. My older brother asked her as she left, "are you going to file for a divorce?" She told him, "I don't know." She wrote a letter to my dad explaining everything.
After I calmed down, I tried to call my mom, but she didn't answer. Which really hurt, but at the time, I don't think she was ready to face her children with the news. My parents were married for 27 years, I was the last of the kids to leave the house. Later that evening my mother finally called me back. I tried to talk her into going back and to try to do some counseling. She told me that they tried and it didn't work. I told her you can't get a divorce, when you said your vows you said to death do us part. I didn't want to be the only family in our little town who had divorced parents, I was more embarrassed about the fact. At the time, I would have rather my mom live in misery and not have the divorce label, then to let her live her life happily and have the divorce label, for the sake of me. I asked my mom why after all these years you decide to get a divorce now. She told me that I was the only girl, and that we did everything together. She told me when I moved out of the house, that she felt like she didn't have anything to live for at the house and then that my parents didn't do anything together, which she was right. So she felt it best that they get a divorce.
I am happy that she stood up for herself and that she had the will power to do so. Not that many women feel that they are strong enough to do so. My mom has since met a wonderful man, who treats her wonderful and she is 100% happy. He will never me my Dad Dad but I am proud to say is my Dad.
It is still hard for my dad, he still hasn't gotten over the fact that they are not married anymore and he still loves her deeply, but like I tell him all the time, Dad you have to move on!
2 days ago